'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;

The children were nestled all snug in their beds;

While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads;

And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap,

When from my bedroom there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the wardrobe I flew like a flash,

Threw open its entrance with rather a crash.

The moon through my window was shining so bright,

It came on my face, through my clothes shone its light,

When what to my wondering eyes did appear

A young Jarvis Cocker, asleep there. Oh dear!

He said: "I glimpsed yonder light from above,

So I had to come in here.

Pop yer top off, then, love?"

Merry Christmas.